Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
