Someone shit on the floor
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize