Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
