we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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