when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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