doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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