Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
