Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
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Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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