Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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