I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
