I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
