Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I booty called her while she was in labor.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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