is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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