goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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