This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
