I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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