im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize