he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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