"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Say something about gay babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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