I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
tell me about the fingering
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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