what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
