I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
