so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
