i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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