Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I need a burrito and a hug.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
