There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
