Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Use "feeling words"
Yay
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize