I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
