dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
