The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize