You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
