it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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