did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
