He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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