I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
