I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
