first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i think my mom watched the whole time
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize