someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
