guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The Olympian is in my bed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
