he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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