i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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