its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
