There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
