Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Randomize
