well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
