Non-Jews are for practice
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
