just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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