he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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