we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
