Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
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You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
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Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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