Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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