I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
