who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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