I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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