ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
