So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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