Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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