he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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