You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
