I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
