The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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