Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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