do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
